Living in the Present Moment: Devastating Existence

I am kind of a soft-centered person. Whereas I don’t like that personality much, sometimes I feel satisfied with my being in this harsh world. So, I am confused about whether it is more convenient to be a strong-hearted or kind-hearted person to live through life's challenges. I used to believe in the quote of “on living in the present moment, neither dwell in the past nor dream of the future”. Nonetheless, even a frequent notice of breathing in the midst of chaos is as same as the flare-up of a flame. Hence, it is better for me to think about the future than to suffer in the moment.

Against the scientific fact, I prefer to say the world is just a coin with two faces. On one side, the world looks so colorful and sparkly but on the other, it is really doomed and gloomy. Whereas butterflies are fluttering in the garden, backyards are struck by heavy storms. So, the beautiful scenario appears as a facade when I experience the contrasting hardships with my whole heart in distress. As for my interpretation, who would criticize me for oscillating between hopefulness and cheerlessness?

If I have a choice which part of the world is worth living, I will definitely reject this offer. I find joy in living in the round shaped world where I am together with others, and there is no separation for flip slides. If so, that is just a fact of life with a cocktail of black and white, I don’t want to be alive today but dream of tomorrow.